Well here we are again, another royal tour by 2 upper class twits who have as much royal blood as I have,and aren’t we all excited !
All we have to do now is ask ourselves what on earth do a bunch of snobby, upper class dimwits have to do with Australia? Wills hasn’t a drop of his dads sprog nor does his poor little bruver Eddie.
That was all up to the paid staff. They were the products of Di’s body guard and her butler ,don’t blame her though ,I would rather poke my eye out with a burnt cucumber than have Charlie knock the top off his dick within a royal mile of me
German connection The royal family have their deepest roots in imperialist Germany with a name change from Saxe -Gotha -Coburg- Battenburg to Windsor – Tudor within living memory, so you can rest assured they don’t have too many relatives living in Fawkner.
The Australian government showed considerable constraint on the tour by not allowing the German Oom Pa Pa bands marching down Collins st , and cancelling the flyover of the Messerschmitt 109 fighter squadron.
What on earth does this family of inbreds, no hopers and the worlds greatest dole bludgers have to do with me in Australia, for some reason we accept the mother of this mob as the head of Australia.
My mate Doug describes it as the empire farts back with ostrich feathers on top with lovely chaps all nicknamed “jungle” because their so fucking dense.
Most of the females attending Wills and Kate resemble surly horse faced grumps with a leg in each corner and a cucumber sandwich in the chaff bag.
This royal Tour is being promoted to save the empire ,but when you take into account that the 2 “princes” Wills and Eddie have as much of Charlie’s DNA as I’ve got gold up my nose.
Now Di was a lovely young woman with the world at her feet and loved nothing more than a little doona dancing, but in the end she picked up the stupid families genes and done a runner with a middle eastern shopkeeper’s son forgetting to do up her seatbelt.
Charles on the other hand couldn’t wait to get into Camelias bed shouting “I’m a tampon I’m a tampon” .
Fergies effort at Texan toe sucking fades into insignificance compared to the efforts of the rest of these wankers .
Now here comes another generation of freeloaders indulging their penchant for kinky sex all at our expense and we’re expected to pay and celebrate at the same time .
Privatise them I reckon, flog them off to Disney land, stick them in a plastic replica castle in a Florida swamp, you could charge fat Americans to come to tea with a real Queen .
This way out ladies and gentlemen through to ye olde englishe gifte shoppe,get your knighthoods here, earldoms on special this week.
Tony will be playing the Scottish piano
Even rent out the prince with the brownshirt uniform for any jaded businessman looking for a bit of rough sex.
Bugger the tour I reckon. Until next time of course when we are sucked into the hype and bullshit about fairytales of princes and princesses ,any royal medallions I receive in the Murdoch press I will stick in a parking meter, or try and slip it past the teller at the bank Plus I’ve got a game of scrabble going with the real fairies at the bottom of my garden
